Getting Personal

The Lord prompted me to share a bit of my current personal journey. I said no at first. "There are others in more serious situations, Lord." What? Really? I'm going to COMPARE? I know better. So, on to sharing.

This past week was a whirlwind. I re-injured my back and was having trouble moving. Our daughter had an emergency C-Section, and we became first-time grandparents! Then I got the stomach flu and couldn't leave the house for two days. Then, our daughter was rushed back to the hospital with severe preeclampsia that the doctors said could cause her to hemorrhage in her brain or die. NOT what anyone wants to hear, and quite frankly, if I didn't feel God's presence, I may have had some words to say to that doctor. But I didn't want to lose the peace I was trying so hard to maintain.

Most of what I write is about learning to live a lifestyle of intimacy with the Lord that carries us in these hard times. It is also about being vulnerable and real. The stuff I write was forged in the fires with the Lord over many years. If I can't LIVE it, I can't WRITE it!

So, I'm living it. This past week, I leaned heavily upon the Lord—purposefully taking slow deep breaths and sinking into grace. I had days when frustration over my back overwhelmed me. (It took 4 years to heal the last time I injured it.) I felt fear lashing out regarding our daughter and guilt for not being there when I was sick. I had to find my own answers in order to comfort her through tears and questions about why things happened this way. And I had to discover what emotions I was feeling, in order to invite Jesus into them.

This year has been about living from a place of peace. I've spent extra time in silent, contemplative prayer. It was interesting to see the fruit of it this past week. I definitely lost my peace a few times but was surprised how quickly I regained it. I want to continue pressing into this "message" of peace, so I can teach it well and impart it to you. I encourage you to make His presence, His peace, your priority. I don't think I could have made it through this week if I didn't feel His presence. I would have ended up having anxiety attacks for the next month! 🙋‍♀️(can anyone relate?)

Thankfully, our daughter is home again and we are contending for her full healing. I am moving, but contending for my full healing, as well. And Mila (me-lah) is a perfect little blessing. I'm in love.