The last time I wrote a blog, I was standing in the waiting line for breakthrough. Now, here I am having tea with breakthrough and quite enjoying our time together! At times it seems almost surreal to be walking out things that I have believed for, for so long, and at other times it feels the only natural conclusion to faith.
There have been a few times lately in corporate worship, that tears of thanksgiving catch me by surprise. Most of the time I wipe them away and replace them with a great big smile and words of thankfulness to the Lord. (Surely a smile much more effectively communicates the joy that I feel, right?) However, the other day the Lord began to remind me of the beauty of tears.
"Pour them out upon Me. For I long to receive your tears of joy and thanksgiving. Just as you used to pour out tears of worship, so determined to trust Me regardless of what seemed like unanswered prayers, so you must freely let your tears of thanksgiving flow. They are a beautiful offering of love to Me," I felt the Lord speaking to my heart.
I know that God has enjoyed my happy dances of joy, but I wanted to enjoy the sweetness of His presence in breakthrough, to the same degree that His presence sustained me in pain. Until you have experienced His love and nearness in pain, the fulfillment that His closeness brings in blessing, isn't the same. It isn't that we have to cry to show our appreciation! But taking the time to pour out our heart in thanksgiving, to the same degree we poured out our hearts in petition, is a reflection of the level of intimacy we have with the Lord.
The Lord knows the deep workings of our heart. To hide or lessen the emotions He gave us, in order to give Him what we think will move Him or be acceptable to Him, is to turn off an avenue of beautiful and unique expression that nobody else can give Him. We aren't to allow our emotions to lead us into disarray, but when they are a natural result of our intimacy with Him, we can be sure that they are pleasing to Him.
Regardless of which side of breakthrough you are on, know that your nearness to Him and the outflow of your hearts expression, is beautiful in His sight. Take the time to allow your heart to burst forth with whatever His closeness pushes to the surface. Bring Him your song, your tears, your joy, your tightly gripped hand on His garment, but whatever you do, come with your heart's expression of love.