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"Through the tapping of my fingers, I have found my voice."

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The Predicament of Desire

This has been such a beautiful season with the Lord for me personally. I've been so aware of the burning desire in my heart for Him, so grateful that He has fanned the flames of longing. There has been a fresh grace over me this year - a consistent desire to remain aware of the Lord's presence at all times. 

Yet in my longing to hear more accurately, see more clearly, and encounter His Kingdom more profoundly, I was actually losing focus. It wasn't that I was getting distracted from this overwhelming desire to know Him more, but the desire itself was becoming larger than the Object of my desire. As I encountered Him more deeply, I also felt the frustration of wanting to be closer. The desire has been so deep, that the Lord finally revealed to me that the desire itself was distracting me. Focusing on what we aren't experiencing, causes us to come to Him with frustration instead of expectation. No matter how much we have experienced His love and have encountered His glory, there is always more! However, we can become anxious in our longing instead of resting in His love and trusting that He wants us to experience deeper union with Him, even more than we do. Now I lean into this burning desire for more, with expectancy, enjoyment, and rest. Instead of crying out to encounter Him more deeply, I simply believe that I am. I have learned what it means to enter in by faith. I don't come with ideas of what my quiet time will look like, I simply trust Him to lead me into new adventures. Now I welcome this passion and lean into it, remembering it is a gift from God. I am literally allowing myself to melt into the yearning I feel, instead of fighting the pain or wondering when God will show me more. To have burning hearts is something we should be thankful for; something to celebrate without allowing it to exasperate. I pray that you too will learn to appreciate the tension between what you are experiencing and the desire for more. There is nothing sweeter than living a life as His burning ones!